Discovering and Understanding the Emotional Needs of Men

During this holiday period, I’ve been reading a book, ‘Fall in love, stay in love’ by Willard Harley, Jr. He concluded in his book that, “The (emotional) needs men most often identified as most important seemed to represent some form of recreation and comfort. Sexual fulfillment, recreational companionship, physical attractiveness, domestic support, and admiration —they all fit neatly into the category of leisure pleasures. A woman, then, has the greatest opportunity to make Love Bank deposits (which is a track record of all positive ways people affected our emotions that makes us attracted to them, making them special in our lives) during a man’s leisure time”.

It is important to state that everyone have their unique emotional needs, and they can be placed in different order of preference. Hence, I will be discussing top 5 emotional needs of an average man (I’m deeply sorry if yours is not identified in this blog). To read, Most Important Emotional Needs of ;Women,  click here

Humans are more of biological creatures, than logical creatures. Hence, we tend to be attracted to people when we sense emotionally that they treat us well, and repel people when we sense emotionally that they hurt us. Therefore, one needs to successfully identify and perform actions that triggers the feeling of love (or at least fondness) to create an initial rapport and an ensuing successful and lasting relationship. When you are in control of a man’s emotion, you control the man.

It is important that emotional needs are revealed and discussed during the dating period so that there is an initial understanding that prevents friction in the future during the married period. When emotional needs are revealed late, people who were very close tend to feel like strangers to each other.

According to Willard F. Harley, Jr., Ph.D. (a clinical psychologist and marriage counsellor), the top five emotional needs of men include: sexual fulfillment, recreational companionship, physical attractiveness, domestic support, and admiration. They are discussed below:

Men are sexual creatures, and this need is an exclusive one that is dependent if their spouse meets it for them. Apart from procreation, sometimes the feeling of making love is a desire to be more emotionally and physically connected to one’s spouse, hence the refusal of it is interpreted as a lack or loss of love. Making love is how men seem to display their acts of affection most times. Conversely, women see affection more through non-sexual acts such as: long conversations, shopping, outings, hugs, kisses, hand-holding, cuddling, etc. (which they refer to as ‘baby girl treatment’). If these sexual fantasies (sexual skills and frequency) of men are not satisfied, they seem frustrated and its quite dangerous if someone else fulfills these fantasies. Love making is quite enjoyable and fulfilling when the couple are both into it emotionally.

Men often get their greatest sense of value and importance from achievement, status, and the respect of the key people in their worlds. Therefore, they find people who asks and praise them for their achievements to be quite fascinating. Deep down, men have the intense desire to be respected, valued and appreciated.

Men seems to be attracted to the opposite sex that are physically appealing to their eyes. It seems to be the first thing that gains their attention, even distracting them from what they were doing. Although some see this to be temporary; since they get to see other personalities of the opposite sex after a period of time which determines whether they will continue the relationship or end it. If their spouse loses their interest in looking good and beautiful as it was during the first encounter and dating period (as in the case when kids and other engaging responsibilities comes up), any conscious effort to look beautiful again is well appreciated. 

Before marriage, recreational activities are planned during dates. Men find it absolutely charming to find women that enjoy their favorite recreational activities. For example, men that loves soccer find it absolutely fascinating to meet women that love their favorite clubs and enjoy watching matches with them at their favorite viewing centers. It is even more satisfying when both of them really relish enjoying those moments with each other. 

Domestic support entails the creation of a peaceful and well-managed home environment. It involves cooking meals, housecleaning, washing dishes, washing and ironing clothes, and child care. Although this might seem primitive and is done together by the couple at the early stage of a relationship, but the absence of this need later in a relationship can cause a huge friction which may come as a surprise. Men do have greater need for domestic support. They enjoy meals cooked by their spouse and loves it when the home is well kept and peaceful. And if efforts of this domestic support, in turn, is not appreciated by men, women become greatly displeased. For example, if the man does not eat his spouse cooked food and eats outside frequently, the woman will be greatly displeased of her great efforts of cooking the meal that have gone to waste. 

A man sees a woman that successfully identifies and continuously performs actions to fulfill these emotional needs as irresistible, even though these emotional needs may change with time.

If there are other emotional needs that you feel are very important and needs to be addressed, please drop them in the comment section. I will be grateful to learn from you. Also, if you find this particular blog to be quite interesting and helpful, please refer it to a friend that might need it. Thanks for your time and attention.

You can also read, How to Hold a Charming Conversation 

Lebari-Dick Leteh is the author of 'Truths About Talent' and 'The Good News'. Both  are available on Amazon Kindle, and you can assess these books via the following links:

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0BBBWLYP5

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0BC2HVX64

       You can also read the following amazing blog posts:

•     How to Hold a Charming Conversation click here
•     Benefits of a New Life in Christ Jesus click here
•      The Role of Focus in Successful Living click here
•      How to Discover Your Talent click here
•      How to Achieve Great Feats Through Great Thinking click here